Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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