Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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