After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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