Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize