If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
