people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So apparently I’m into choking now
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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