marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I look excited, but its just a facade.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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