That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
