ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This baby is an asshole
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
