So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
