I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
