3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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