you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
