that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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