You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
