He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
