I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
