we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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