I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm bleeding and have questions
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
