don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
