She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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