oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
