all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
