you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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