Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
