8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
