Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
