this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
