look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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