Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she peed on how many people?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
