It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
