I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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