How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
