Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
