that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
