Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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