I think i peed on brittanys purse
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
