I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
