That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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