If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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