how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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