Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
