You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
