if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
