Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
