bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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