well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
