RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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