when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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