I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
