Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
