...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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