too bad you live with your parents still
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
