you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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