JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
