sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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