We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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