Yo dont text me then not text me
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
