I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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