On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
