I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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