Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
