hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
