The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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