if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
